Becoming a Main Character
by Freisturz
Summary: Ryou's used to being in the background, but what will he do when the spotlight is cast on him? Does he have what it takes to be a main character?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Yugioh**

**AN: This is a redo of my old story, 'snowstorm'** **which I have now deleted because it was written so poorly. This one has better grammar, and I have changed a few things. The other two chapters will be up very shortly, within the next couple of hours, and possibly a fourth one after I finish re-writing those two. This chapter is mostly dialogue, I'll try to make the other chapters a bit 'flashier.' Enjoy, and I hope I manage to make some people laugh.**

Bakura and Honda sheltered in a rather convenient cave from the vicious snowstorm that they had somehow managed to get lost in, together.

"I say, Honda, it sure is a good thing we found this cave to shelter in. I sure do hope it doesn't snow too much and trap us in this icy tomb until spring." Ryou commented.

"Stop being so morbid Bakura. Someone is going to find us." Honda snapped, sitting on the icy floor of the cave.

Ryou joined him "Oh I'm not worried about that, I'm just worried about how much torture the author is going to put me through before I get out of here..."

"Before WE get out of here... and what author? We're not in a book," Honda raised an eyebrow in puzzlement.

"No, we're in a fanfic. Hopefully not a depressingly bad one where I act like some kind of gay emo kid..." Ryou frowned "Oh no..."

"You're talking crazy-talk Bakura. 'Oh no' what?"

"I just realised that maybe I'm trapped here with you because," he lowered his voice to a whisper, "the author wants to ship us."

"...Ship...us? What the HELL does that mean?!" Honda wasn't familiar with the term, but he was sure it was something disgusting.

"Never mind. We'll find out soon enough. I hate the author and her crazy plot devices. She doesn't even finish half of them, she just leaves them right in the middle of everything, usually with me screaming in agony, and the happy ending never comes. **Where's my happy ending, Honda?! Where is it?!**" He grabbed Honda by the shoulders and shook him.

"Who is this author you keep ranting about?"

"I'm ranting?" He let Honda go. "Oh my, that's terribly out of character, she must be struggling with my frustratingly polite personality. But anyway, call her god if you will."

"So... The author is god... and we are in a fanfic... which is actually our lives." He tilted his head to the side, as if the position would help him think better.

"Correct."

"That's interesting." He tilted his head a little further.

"Some thing's wrong!" Ryou began to fret.

Honda gave up on trying to think and returned his head to a less painful position. "What now?"

"Notice how incredibly cold it is, yet neither of us is shivering. Do you think she's going to give us hypothermia, and its started to set in already. Not shivering is a bad sign I'm pretty sure."

"Well I feel fine. Maybe we should sleep until the storm blows over. I'm tired." More specifically, he was tired of listening to Ryou's babbling.

"You can't sleep, Honda, that's when she'll kill you!" He grabbed Honda by the shoulders and shook him again, his expression one of sheer terror.

"You're starting to freak me out, Bakura!" He was beginning to get a little panicked himself.

"Come on! Anyone who dies of hypothermia always goes to sleep and THEN dies. It **always** happens like this in fanfics!"

"Doesn't it happen like that in real life as well?"

"How should I know. I don't exist in 'real life.' I only exist in manga, anime, fanfics, fanart, fancomics, cosplayers, doujinshi..." He went on listing the things in which he existed.

"This IS real life Bakura. Snap out of it!" He slapped Ryou across the face for good measure.

"Listen to me! This fic doesn't even make any sense! I don't even remember how I got here or why I even went out in the snow in the first place... and why is there a sign over there that says 'Nowhere city centre.' we're not even in a city! We're in the middle of no- oh... Is that supposed to be a joke?"

"Now that you mention it, I don't have any memory of how I came to be in this cave." His brow furrowed slightly.

"See, Honda. See!"

A wolf entered the cave and growled at the two.

"Oh my, it looks like our imminent death has arrived. It's very believable, too. I'm sure **lots** of people get killed by wolves." Ryou said sarcastically.

The wolf pulled out a dueling deck and spoke to them. "I'm going to challenge you to a duel, and if I win, I am going to eat you."

"Gee... The jokes in this fic are really bad. Sure we use card games to solve everything, but... is this for real?!" Bakura mocked the author's humour, which probably wasn't the best idea in the world.

"Hey, I dont even play duel monsters" Honda stated.

"I think that means you lose by default, Honda." Bakura replied.

The wolf pounced on Honda, ripping through his jacket with his teeth and sinking his fangs into flesh. Honda tried to fight the animal off but it was too big and strong. "Help me Bakura! Ah! Damn, it hurts!" The wolf continued to viciously maul Honda.

"Now that the wolf is distracted I should figure out how to get out of here..." Bakura watched the scene before him indifferently, and rubbed his chin with one hand, thinking.

Then, a disembodied, female voice spoke to him. "Bakura-kun, look outside, you're not far from Domino City"

"Hey, who are you? I already have multiple personalities, don't tell me I'm schizophrenic as well." Ryou walked out of the cave. The voice was right. The snowstorm had stopped, and he could see the city. "But I thought we were in the middle of-"

"I am the author, I don't have to make sense."

Ryou gave a wry frown, and began to walk back toward the city. "I don't think there are any wild wolves in Japan, either."

"Shut up." The disembodied voice snapped.

Meanwhile, the wolf was feeding on Honda's dead body.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** **I don't own Yugioh or The Shining  
**

**AN: Here's chapter two. Review please?**

"Hm... Well, I finally made it back to Domino City... and Honda is dead... oh my." Ryou walked a little aimlessly through the city streets. The sky was gray, the buildings were gray, it was quite a miserable scene. It was snowing lightly.

"Hello," a gruff voice came from behind him, and a hand tapped him on the shoulder.

"Ah!" Ryou whipped around, and looked the stranger up and down. "Who are you? You look... just like me!" The man had long white hair, like him, though the man's was rather spiky and wild-looking. He wore the same clothes, a white wool jumper (and under that probably the same blue and white striped t-shirt as Ryou) and jeans. His expression was quite different though, in that he looked angry and generally pissed-off. He even had a millenium ring, like Ryou's, though Ryou was wearing his under his jumper.

The man smirked. "I'm a cosplayer."

Ryou slapped his palm to his forehead. "Oh god, don't tell me they're hosting another anime convention..." He hated those damn things. Though, these days they were full of 'narutards' and if there was indeed one on there'd probably be a million Sasukes and Gaaras – how _annoying_. So it was rather surprising to see someone dressed as him.

He rolled his eyes. "I'm just fucking with you. I'm the spirit in the ring, you know, the one that makes you act like a total freak. Apparently, I have my own body for no adequately explored reason. So, I'm guessing this is an 'AU' – what a cop-out." He began walking and pulled Ryou along by the arm.

"Why are you pulling me?" Ryou asked, making mild attempts to resist.

"How should I know? I just feel compelled to. I also feel compelled to walk down this street, so the plot must be this way." Ryou's attempts to resist were futile, he was much stronger than Ryou, and just pulled harder.

"Oh, so you know about the plot and the author and stuff too. I tried to tell Honda about it, but he didn't seem to understand at all." Ryou gave up struggling and walked briskly beside his yami, trying to keep up with the long strides.

"That's because he's a minor character. We are main characters, so we know about the plot. Everyone else is totally oblivious to it." He gestured to all the nameless people walking about with his free hand. He then noticed he was still holding Ryou's arm, and jerked his hand away abruptly. If the boy was going to follow willingly there was no need to hold his hand. He shuddered.

"I wonder who the author is going to ship us with." Ryou seemed keen to find this out.

"I hope I get put with a girl. I'm sick of being put with guys. Shizuka would be nice..."

"If she's going blind you might have a chance, ha ha."

He stopped and grabbed Ryou by the shoulders, making him face him. "Look at me, do you, or do you not, see a mirror image?...You just slammed yourself, idiot." He snickered.

"...You're right. Shit."

He laughed. "This author really is no good with your character. You don't swear."

Ryou changed the subject. "What's redrum? A type of rum?"

"... it's murder backwards." Bakura informed him. How dense do you have to be to not know that?

"Oh... Let's go back to walking as we were then." He turned to walk on.

Bakura grabbed Ryou by the collar and stopped him. "I sense a plot point. Where did you see it?"

Ryou winced and pointed over Bakura's shoulder, indicating a window across the street with the word 'redrum' written on it. A small group of people were crowded around it.

Bakura pulled Ryou across the street and pushed his way past the crowd to examine the window. The word was written in red lipstick, it seemed. The crowd murmured 'redrum, what's redrum?' 'if its a new type of rum I want to try it.' Bakura rolled his eyes at their stupidity. He looked at what lay beyond the window – a lobby of a hotel. There was a massive amount of blood on the floor, which seemed to be coming from the elevator.

Bakura turned to the crowd. "You there." Bakura said, pointing to one of the nameless minor characters at the front of the group. "Read it backwards."

"Mur-der. Murder?"

"Good," he said in a rather condescending tone. "Now take a look over there, see the elevator?" He pointed. "See what is seeping out of it?"

The man's eyes widened, and he backed away, before turning and running. The other minor characters followed suit when they saw what was coming out of the elevator.

"That's right! Scram, you minor character scum! Did none of you ever read – or see - The Shining? It's a horror classic for gods sake." Bakura yelled after them, shaking his fist. Once they were gone, he turned to Ryou. "Let's go in!" He seemed rather excited to do so, and grabbed Ryou's collar to drag him along.

"I don't want to go in there!" Ryou whined, digging his heels into the ground and resisting.

"Come on. It's probably just a card game." He abandoned the collar method and grabbed a handful of Ryou's white hair, and tried dragging him that way.

"Owww, hey, alright. Just stop." Bakura gave into this whining and let go. "Thank you." Now they were in the lobby. "We're not going in the elevator are we?" Ryou looked in disgust at the blood on the floor, which had formed a slimy, rubbery skin due to the clotting. It felt strange to walk on.

"I think we will find the plot in room 237 – and yes, we are taking the elevator." Of _course_ they were taking the elevator, any other way just wouldn't be as fun.

"Is that another thing from the shining? At least this plot seems to make a whole lot more sense than the one in the last chapter. Though it seems to be heavily plagiarized..." He stepped into the elevator with his yami, which was soaked in blood. "...This is a bit morbid even for my liking... oh and speaking of the last chapter, it hasn't been explained how I seemed to instantly recover from hypothermia without any treatment."

Bakura wasn't really listening to his other self. He pulled out his dueling deck. "In case someone decides to pull the old 'here's johnny'... I'll have my man-eater bug ready to summon from the shadow realm." He pushed the button on the elevator.

"Is this real blood?" Ryou asked, staring at the stuff on the floor. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other, a little uncomfortably. This was just gross.

"Yes. It's animal blood. Not human, though. Isn't it glorious?" He liked the heavy iron smell of blood. It made him quite high.

"How can you tell?"

The elevator door opened to reveal Marik scrawling 'redrum' over the walls in the hallway. "Marik. What are you doing? Because if you are trying to re-enact a classic Stephen King novel you are doing a REALLY bad job of it," Bakura said, stepping out of the elevator with Ryou, "and how many innocent woodland creatures did you slaughter to create that mess in the lobby?"

Marik stopped and looked at the two. "I was just trying to scare people away from the plot," he said innocently.

"Well, you're doing a bad job of that too. There was a whole crowd of minor characters hanging around outside. Not only that, but you're misleading the poor readers. They probably think this whole thing is based on The Shining, and it's all thanks to you." Bakura folded his arms, and went back to looking pissed off.

Ryou cut in "So, if the author is god, and we are the story – god's pawns on earth. What role do the readers have in the big scheme of things?"

Bakura repressed the urge to growl at the boy. "Think of them as demi-gods who tell the author-god whether she is doing a good job or not. They tend to bitch about how in character we are, how detailed the story is, and so on. Every single one of them thinks they are an expert, too."

"Oh, okay."

"So anyway Marik," Bakura continued, "Does your dark half have it's own body like we do?"

"No.." He grinned, in an evil, villainous way.

"I sense a plot point..." Bakura sighed.

"Here's Johnny!" Now he was yami no Marik, all wild hair and eyes that showed his insanity. He advanced toward Ryou, who cowered and backed away.

Bakura rolled his eyes and held up his man-eater bug card to summon it from the shadow realm. The giant bug appeared from a portal and scuttled to Marik, clenching him in its mandibles. Marik screamed as the bug shook him viciously, tearing him apart before devouring him.

"Did you just kill Marik?! Isn't he a main character?" Ryou was horrified.

Bakura walked down the hallway and stopped outside the door that read 237. "I did, but he was a bad guy." He opened the door and walked inside. It was just a large empty room.

Ryou followed him in. "But, aren't you technically... a bad guy?" he asked.

Bakura stopped in the middle of the room. The door seemed to close and lock on it's own – for no adequately explored reason of course – and Ryou suddenly got a very bad feeling...

"Guess what you just activated." Bakura said, standing with his back to Ryou.

"Um... a... trap?" He really wasn't liking this situation. Bakura suddenly seemed a whole lot more evil than he was a moment ago.

"No." Bakura said coldly.

"Your monster's special ability?"

"No."

"I give up." Ryou said softly, his fear showing in his voice.

"The plot."

"...Yay?" Ryou squeaked.

"Yay for me. I finally get to kill something." He turned to Ryou to reveal that he was holding a knife. It looked like one used to skin animals, with an ornate handle and a strangely shaped blade.

"Can't we fight with cards?"

"Nope." He advanced slowly toward the boy, he looked truly psychotic. His hair seemed to become even more wild than it was before, with the spikes going every which way. His brown eyes were wide and looked eager to see Ryou's blood. A sadistic grin was on his face.

"What about Egyptian laser beams?" Ryou was quickly backed up against a wall, and his eyes darted around the room, looking for an escape.

"I'm afraid not."

"Damn."

"DIE!" Bakura shouted, and lunged for Ryou. The boy managed to side-step and Bakura's knife became lodged in the plasterboard wall.

"You know I never did like you." Ryou said, increasing the distance between him and his yami again.

"I never liked you either, you were always just a vessel. Now that I have magically been given my own body I have no need of you." He pulled the knife out of the wall, and turned to Ryou again. He began cackling, and advanced toward Ryou once again.

"Well, I have other ideas... I'm out of here." He ran for a window, and the glass shattered as he crashed through it. "**Save me 4KIDS!**" He shouted as he fell from several stories high toward the street below.

As if to answer the call, a portal opened to the shadow realm, which he then fell into. He landed quite painlessly on the ground, and looked to see where he was. "Yes! Thank you 4kids!... But... if my death was censored... then that means..."

Yami Marik loomed over him "Here's Johnny!"

He quickly picked himself up and ran. "Why, author?! **Why**?!"


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I still don't own Yugioh**

**AN: Chapter 3. Anyone got some soap for Marik's mouth? This chapter contains some language and sexual references.**

"Hey, Bakura!" Marik called. He was still in pursuit of the poor boy, but Yami no Marik had released the body to him after getting bored with the chase. "Do you remember why my dark side was chasing you?!"

"Something to do with a Stephen King novel I think! I haven't even read it and its plot is trying to kill me! Well actually its plot **did** kill me!..." He kept running as fast as he could, his feet pounding the ground.

"Well! I think that was last chapter! I don't think it's relevant anymore!" Marik yelled. _Damn that kid can run fast_, he thought to himself, as he was quite a way behind.

"Does that mean we can stop running?!" Ryou glanced over his shoulder at his pursuer.

"Yeah!"

"And you wont try to kill me?!" Everyone seemed to be after him in this fic. First it was a wolf, then Yami no Marik, then Yami no Bakura, and then Yami no Marik again.

"...You have my word!"

Ryou slowed, before collapsing onto his hands and knees, panting. Marik caught up and collapsed next to him. "I guess that means... I'm stuck... with you... this chapter..." Ryou said between pants.

"Yeah... Hey... where... do you think... the plot went?"

"Do we have to find it **again**?!" Bakura asked, collapsing out onto his stomach.

"You know, main characters shouldn't lay like that," Marik said, eying Ryou a little mischievously.

"Why for?" Ryou asked.

"Because it leaves you very open to... Surprise rape!" He pounced on Ryou in a playful sort of way.

Ryou just lay there looking very unimpressed. There was an awkward silence, until Ryou finally spoke. "What are you _doing_?"

"I have pounced on you as a mindless fan boy would if he were going to rape you." Marik explained.

"So, are you going to do anything, or are you just going to lie on top of me?" Ryou raised an eyebrow, even though Marik couldn't see his expression.

"Are you saying you _want_ me to do something?" Marik was surprised.

"Do **you** want to do something?"

"Look, I don't want to (beep)ing rape you, okay, I just wanted to educate you about the bloody fanbrats who would shamelessly take advantage of you then-and-there if you left yourself lying around looking all defeated... for (beep) sake." Marik was rather annoyed by Ryou's lack of a sense of humour.

"What _is_ that noise you're making?" It sounded like those annoying beeps they use on television when someone swears.

"What noise?"

"Say 'fuck'"

"...(beep)"

Ryou snickered. "You're being censored!"

"What?! Is it those 4KIDS (beep)tards? I hate those (beep)ing (beep)s..."

"No I don't think it's 4Kids. It's this damned author." Ryou looked up at the rather bleak sky of the shadow realm. The author was up there somewhere, probably laughing at them. The readers too. How dare they. Censorship is nothing to joke about, it's wrong!

"...Is this going to last the entire (beep)ing chapter?" Marik asked, clearly annoyed.

"Probably. Can you get off me now?" Ryou struggled to get up under Marik's weight

"Actually I am quite comfortable. But I suppose." He lifted himself off the boy and stood up. "We have to find the plot." He pointed in a random direction, just to be dramatic.

"Screw that, I'm staying right here." Ryou was now sitting on the ground cross-legged, arms folded in defiance.

"I don't think that's a good idea." Marik looked at him with a rather worried expression.

Ryou sighed. "Why's that?" Surely if he didn't move, nothing bad would happen.

"Because then the author has to find a way for the plot to come to you." He rubbed the back of neck nervously, thinking of all the possible bad things that could happen to them if they didn't find the plot. Maybe the author would drop an anvil on one of them. He looked up at the sky fearfully.

"Damn. Speaking of which, quick, hide behind these conveniently enormous gravestones." They were in the card graveyard part of the shadow realm, seeing as they had both 'died' they had been sent to the discard pile.

Marik jumped over said gravestones and sat behind them with Ryou. "Who are we hiding from?" He whispered.

"The plot," Ryou replied, his voice hushed.

"What?!" Marik hissed, softly. "You're not supposed to _hide _from the plot. You're a main character! And I have news for you, you're not just any old main character, you're **the **main character in this fanfic!"

"But I thought Yuugi was supposed to be the main character! I don't want to be the main character! Bad stuff always happens to the main character!" His whispers were loud with anger.

"Yes, of course bad stuff happens to you, but you will always triumph, because you're the main character, and are therefore invincible," he paused, then added, "unless you're in the tragedy genre."

"What makes you think I'm not?" Ryou asked in a low growl.

"Listen to me! I can't even say the f-word for (beep) sake. This is obviously a humor and or parody fic." This hushed yelling was beginning to get annoying.

"Well if I'm not in a tragedy, why am I dead?" Ryou hissed.

"You're not dead. The author used a 4kids reference to save you from dying, she just sent you to the shadow realm... Why don't you let me show you how to be a main character. Look at my rod." He held up the millennium rod.

"Your rod?! Is that supposed to be some kind of sexual innuendo?"

"I simply meant – for (beep) sake – let me make you my mind slave. Look at my rod damn you..."

"I am not looking at your rod, okay - but if you want a mind slave, why don't you control the plot device wandering around on the other side of these gravestones, completely oblivious to this entire conversation." It was quite amazing the loud whispering hadn't been noticed.

"What plot device?" Marik stood and looked over the giant gravestone. A certain shark-haired person was wandering around rather aimlessly, looking at his surrounds like he'd never seen the place before. "Honda?"

"Yes, him," Ryou confirmed.

"Hey Honda. Seeing as the word 'rod' seems to imply something highly sexual anyway... Why don't you take a look at this." He holds up the millennium rod. "It's my millennium _wang, _look at it. Look at it and marvel."

Honda looked at the millennium rod, his expression showed that he was utterly confused.

Marik continued. "Yes, now quiver in fear as I penetrate deep into your mind."

"Are you scoring with Honda?" Ryou whispered loudly.

Honda just looked at Marik as though he had completely lost his mind.

"Bakura, I don't think it's working." He gave a sidelong glance to Bakura. "I think his role in this chapter is too important. So I suppose that means the millennium wang is useless."

"Would you stop calling it that?!" Bakura yelled angrily.

"Bakura?!" Honda said, looking over the gravestone the boy was hiding behind. "You little rat! Why didn't you save me from that wolf?! I'm going to mangle your immortal soul so badly that you wont be able to put it back into a body again!"

Bakura hastily got up and backed away. Honda jumped over the gravestone and advanced.

"Bakura! You need to assert your dominance over this minor character!" Marik instructed. There really wasn't anything he could do. Well, he could physically restrain Honda, or something, but he felt that Ryou needed to develop his character a little. So, he would just cheer from the sidelines.

"Can't I just run away?" Ryou ducked as Honda tried to punch him.

"If you keep running away, the plot is not going to move forward. You do want to get to the happy ending don't you?"

"Yes, I suppose so." Bakura replied.

"Then do something!" Marik shouted.

Bakura backed away from Honda, avoiding another blow, and laughed nervously. "Listen Honda, you don't want to hurt me, ha ha, see, I had to let that wolf eat you, because well, you lost the duel. It was only fair, duelist's honor and all that, ha ha."

"Screw honor!" He throws another punch, but Ryou evades again. "Hold still you little rat!"

"Be assertive for fucks sake!" Marik yelled.

Bakura looked to Marik "Hey, how come you're not being censored anymore?" Honda finally landed a blow while Bakura was distracted, knocking him to the ground. "Darn." Bakura said, crawling backward, away from the advancing Honda.

"**assertive!**" Marik shouted at the top of his lungs. Maybe if he was really loud Ryou might actually listen to what he was saying.

Ryou cringed, the volume of Marik's voice made his ears ring. "I'll try..." Ryou picked himself up and cleared his throat. Honda tried to punch him again, but the boy caught his fist. "Look Honda." He said in a most intimidating voice, which sounded a lot like Yami no Bakura's. "I am the main character here, and I'm not going to let you steal the show." He shoved Honda. "So if you're not going to help me do whatever it is I need to do for this bloody story to end I'm going to have to dispose of you." He cracked his knuckles.

"And how do you intend to do that?" Honda asked, not convinced.

"With my ancient Egyptian laser beams." He said. A golden glow radiated from the ring underneath his jumper.

Now Honda was on the retreat. "Oh not them... anything but them!" He turned and high-tailed it out of there.

Marik approached Bakura and gave him a pat on the back. "Well done. That was some good character development."

"Thank you." A little pride showed in his voice and posture. "Now what?"

"Now... we have to figure out how the fuck to get out of here..." He looked around at the foggy graveyard of the shadow realm.

"I really want to know why you're not being censored anymore."

"How the fuck should I know." Marik snapped.

"Hey, before the chapter ends, can you promise me something?"

"What is it?"

"If you are going to switch to Yami no Marik, can you give me some sort of warning, and not just grin evilly like you did last time?"

He gave an evil grin "Sure."

"Marik?"

He was still grinning "Whut?"

Ryou smacked him over the head "That's not bloody funny!"


End file.
